In no certain order, I am proud to present this list of fashion don’ts (they may be in ‘fashion’ but that doesn’t mean they look good!!):

1. Maxi dresses (Leave it to couture designers to decide it’s time to look like hippies this season. Expensive, designer hippies. WHAT?)

2. Strappy wooden wedges (IMO wedges only looked good when Charlize Theoron’s Aeon Flux wore them in the movie of the same name. And if you have cankles and wear wedges, then woe be it unto you because that is just a recipe for disaster. And short people (take notes) wedges and chunky heels do you no favors – you just appear artificially elevated and like your feet are too big for your legs. True.)

3. Gladiator sandles (just, please no.)

4. The entire Heidiwood collection (I mean, COME ON.)

5. Chloe booties – hated it. And no one looks good in them! Even delicately-ankled celebrities with insured gams.

6. High-waisted formal shorts – the whole concept of formal shorts is lost on me. Want to show some leg? Wear a skirt. That’s all I’m sayin’. And while I can appreciate the vintage beauty of a waistband that reaches the floating rib, the overall look of the contemporary high waist is just awkward.

Wow. I feel loads better just having gotten that out of the way. I mean, I know designers will always push the envelopes of tradition and aesthetics and people will always wear what they want, no matter how ridiculous it might look. I just thought since I’m preaching the fashion, I should lay down some aesthetic ground rules.

I might just scrounge up some thumbnails later to accompany my list (which is sure to grow).